Jamie, Ben and Tillie discuss sex and its effects on relationships.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Jamie Jabber 77 - (Book) Switch: How to change things when change is hard
Today I discuss a new book about change, why it's hard to change and how you can go about changing yourself and influencing change in others.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Blue Chest Adventure Part 1 of 5
Jamie, Dave and Erik head out on their quest to find the blue chest that Jamie saw over the edge of the cliffs of Magnolia, Seattle a few weeks prior. Along the way, they will also look for one of the fallen houses of Magnolia and the legendary stone couch.
Blue Chest Adventure Part 2 of 5
The guys continue their adventure down the "Stairway of Profound Thoughts" and find some pretty interesting "art". Stone love seats, forgotten bricks and rope swings ensue.
Blue Chest Adventure Part 3 of 5
The guys find the secret lab of Dr. L. H. Silverman, an awesome tree-based structure, Dave battles with dyslexia and Erik makes pretty much the best face ever.
Blue Chest Adventure Part 4 of 5
The guys reach the water, traverse the dangerous cliffside, retrieve the walking stick from Poseidon, Dave sustains some awesome battle damage and the chest is found.
Blue Chest Adventure 5 of 5
The guys end their adventure with a run in with a friendly stranger and the use of ninja speed to avoid trouble from the locals! Also, a nice recap of the events through an epic slide show ends the first adventure with Falcon Rad, Crow Gnarly and Vulture Awesome.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Jamie Jabber 76 - The point of no return; can you stomach the truth or will you close this video?
How important is it that you maintain the excuse of ignorance? Find out by watching how you react to this.
Jamie...deciphering Fair to Midland lyrics: Bright Bulbs and Sharp Tools
Fair to Midland is my favorite band in the world. I think what makes them so amazing, besides their sound, is their lyrics. Lyrics that are to the point, straightforward, have almost no value to me. Lyrics that make you think, that make you work ever so slightly to find their meaning...that's satisfying.
Of course, that means that the lyrics run the risk of meaning nothing at all.
Like I was saying in a previous Jamie Jabber, words are designed to go into YOUR head and pull from your reference library. This means that when you start getting into obscure lyrics and loose meanings, the definition now becomes widely varied across people. That's fantastic...it's like we each get our own unique emotions from the same words where as something like, "I love you, baby, I need you in my life" leaves almost no room for interpretation while "Suffice it to say, there's a time and a place so I wait for the tug of war and who you'll pull for" can have a wide range of interpretations DEPENDING ON WHO LISTENS TO IT.
---
Today, I wanted to decipher a line from "Bright Bulbs and Sharp Tools", an unreleased demo for a song on their upcoming album. Here are the lyrics followed by a link to the song.
Now heaven knows I've got one short damn fuse
So come sit down a spell while I light up the room
If walls could talk, they'd be know-it-all's
So we live in the sticks, there are some fish you can catch
And it makes my skin crawl
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so what's the use?
And she knew, she knew...
He fights like hell because he wants to glow
And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb
I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?
He's gray
And has to hide somewhere in between black and white
Is he insane? But never was praying, before it's over,
I hope he takes you too
They say attack can be your best defense
And I've got mother's smile, both my dad's fists
John Doe escapes, carry his name
And when it's time to sign, ask where; not why
And it makes my blood boil
Those black letter days, all their mail just winds up lost
He's gray
And has to hide somewhere in between black and white
Is he insane? But never was praying, before it's over,
I hope he takes you too
You see whispers in the winter
Temper doesn't laugh
And every spring, I hear them sing, I hear them sing
(Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)
Every spring, I hear them sing, I hear them sing
Every spring, I hear them sing
If he's going down
If he's going under the ground
I hope he takes you too
Whoa, whoa, whoa
I hope he takes you too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvfy8ym08k8
The line we are going to be looking at today is:
He fights like hell because he wants to glow
And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb
I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?
Like with most of their lyrics, you need to invest a little bit of effort to find your own definition. That work, that effort, makes the meaning you find very rewarding. So it wasn't until I thought about it that I came up with a very neat interpretation.
"He fights like hell because he wants to glow" to me means that the subject of this song works very hard at what he does because of the way he wants to appear to other people. It is so important to him what others think of him that it is his fuel to succeed.
"And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb" to me signifies that he is willing to destroy anything around him that is better or performs greater than he does. The contrast that would make him look less is something he can't abide. But tackling the sun is stupid...the sun is massive. You will die. It's impossible. Still, his will to tackle the sun, like a little dog picking a fight with a much bigger dog, is unfazed. He will kill himself trying to stifle those that are better than he is.
"I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?" is really neat. It takes the literal consequence of him destroying the sun and asks the question, "Now that the sun is gone, he will have to take the responsibilities of the sun. The sun did such a good job of waking us up on time...I wonder if he'll wake us up in time. This can then be taken a few different ways, for example, dealing with the consequences of the actions of a person who destroys others to be the highest on the totem pole.
So yeah, that's that. There is so much good stuff in these songs that I will probably be doing this for a while.
Of course, that means that the lyrics run the risk of meaning nothing at all.
Like I was saying in a previous Jamie Jabber, words are designed to go into YOUR head and pull from your reference library. This means that when you start getting into obscure lyrics and loose meanings, the definition now becomes widely varied across people. That's fantastic...it's like we each get our own unique emotions from the same words where as something like, "I love you, baby, I need you in my life" leaves almost no room for interpretation while "Suffice it to say, there's a time and a place so I wait for the tug of war and who you'll pull for" can have a wide range of interpretations DEPENDING ON WHO LISTENS TO IT.
---
Today, I wanted to decipher a line from "Bright Bulbs and Sharp Tools", an unreleased demo for a song on their upcoming album. Here are the lyrics followed by a link to the song.
Now heaven knows I've got one short damn fuse
So come sit down a spell while I light up the room
If walls could talk, they'd be know-it-all's
So we live in the sticks, there are some fish you can catch
And it makes my skin crawl
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so what's the use?
And she knew, she knew...
He fights like hell because he wants to glow
And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb
I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?
He's gray
And has to hide somewhere in between black and white
Is he insane? But never was praying, before it's over,
I hope he takes you too
They say attack can be your best defense
And I've got mother's smile, both my dad's fists
John Doe escapes, carry his name
And when it's time to sign, ask where; not why
And it makes my blood boil
Those black letter days, all their mail just winds up lost
He's gray
And has to hide somewhere in between black and white
Is he insane? But never was praying, before it's over,
I hope he takes you too
You see whispers in the winter
Temper doesn't laugh
And every spring, I hear them sing, I hear them sing
(Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh)
Every spring, I hear them sing, I hear them sing
Every spring, I hear them sing
If he's going down
If he's going under the ground
I hope he takes you too
Whoa, whoa, whoa
I hope he takes you too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvfy8ym08k8
The line we are going to be looking at today is:
He fights like hell because he wants to glow
And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb
I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?
Like with most of their lyrics, you need to invest a little bit of effort to find your own definition. That work, that effort, makes the meaning you find very rewarding. So it wasn't until I thought about it that I came up with a very neat interpretation.
"He fights like hell because he wants to glow" to me means that the subject of this song works very hard at what he does because of the way he wants to appear to other people. It is so important to him what others think of him that it is his fuel to succeed.
"And would tackle the sun to be a bright bulb" to me signifies that he is willing to destroy anything around him that is better or performs greater than he does. The contrast that would make him look less is something he can't abide. But tackling the sun is stupid...the sun is massive. You will die. It's impossible. Still, his will to tackle the sun, like a little dog picking a fight with a much bigger dog, is unfazed. He will kill himself trying to stifle those that are better than he is.
"I wonder if he'll wake us up in time?" is really neat. It takes the literal consequence of him destroying the sun and asks the question, "Now that the sun is gone, he will have to take the responsibilities of the sun. The sun did such a good job of waking us up on time...I wonder if he'll wake us up in time. This can then be taken a few different ways, for example, dealing with the consequences of the actions of a person who destroys others to be the highest on the totem pole.
So yeah, that's that. There is so much good stuff in these songs that I will probably be doing this for a while.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
New perspective on old pain
After talking to an old friend (thanks, dude) and reading a few pages of a special book, I have come to the following conclusions. They feel right for me.
As a human, my first duty is to survive. The skills needed were passed down to me from other survivors. My ability to fight, defend myself and others I care about, to assess situations and to choose who I spend time with all help.
The second duty, after survival, is to replicate. Make stronger, better, smarter offspring by mating with another person as strong, or stronger, than me.
These are facts. They can not be argued or debated. We, as humans, are hard-wired to operate this way. We may cover these instincts up with new labels, rules and expectations, but really nothing changes.
That drive to love and be loved, that isn't you. That isn't your choice. That attraction you have for someone, that isn't you. That isn't your choice. It's your wiring. You may have a lot of control over certain aspects in your life, but this isn't one.
When you aren't in a relationship and you want to be, it hurts. That isn't you. That isn't your choice. In the same way that you are thirsty when you don't have water and hungry when you don't have food, your body sends you negative signals which are meant to tell you that you are failing at securing a mate and are therefor failing to pass on your genes. We call that "heartache" or "loneliness".
When a man pursues a woman and that woman accepts, there is a deep, deep satisfaction that is present. What is happening is that this aspect of the man is satiated. The body sends positive signals to the man which tells him that he is doing this right, keep it up. We call this "being in love".
A man then invests in the woman. He spends time, money and effort to continue the relationship and to solidify it. She is his mate. Like his water, food and rest, she is an essential part of him. And his mate is the only one that can stop the need that consumes him consistently. She is invaluable.
There are predators, though, who want a mate as well. This isn't their choice. It's the way things are. When they come prowling around your investment, you NEED to defend it. Your chance at pro-creating is in jeopardy and your body knows this. It sends you signals to be upset, violent and defensive. These signals are here because the men that survived before us had them and used them. They work. Using their strength, they were able to ward off predators and protect their investment in the same way that an animal protects its food from other animals.
When the woman leaves for another predator, there is a massive issue. You can no longer defend the woman because she doesn't want to be defended. She wants to be free of you. Someone else got her attention. You failed at keeping her as yours. Even though there are many other factors besides this that can cause a break up, your body doesn't care; it's interpreted the same today as it was thousands of years ago. Your body sees this and sends massive waves of pain to tell you that you should NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. EVER!! YOU ARE FAILING AT PASSING ON YOUR GENES BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO SECURE YOUR INVESTMENT FROM PREDATORS!! That is emotion. Its signals are DESIGNED to be miserable. They are designed to teach you a lesson. This heartache doesn't go away until you feed the need for a mate. In a lot of instances, this is why so much pain disappears when a new mate is introduced into your life.
Understand the simplicity of your pain. There is an issue: and there is a symptom, or signal, that is activated to alert you. You need water: thirst. You need food: hunger. You need rest: fatigue. You need a mate: heartache.
What about the people in the past that have violated this process? Be angry. Be upset. These are the factors that kept the species growing. The need to make an example out of them isn't just some blind rage, it's a genuine defense mechanism; it's a message that you send to everyone else who might try the same thing.
What about the need for monogamy? Because you have been designed to protect your investment, a rule has been set: do not let anyone else touch your woman. This spills over into the idea of monogamy. Monogamy feels right because it is in harmony with the basic, fundamental rule of protecting your investment. For me, any other logic fails to have an effect on this decision. The wiring is there.
We live in a time where we are constantly walking the balance between caveman consciousness and cosmic consciousness. In this way, we no longer look at just the human needs, but the spiritual ideas such as the ability to grow from experiences, that we are here to learn something, that everyone is connected, that we can't let ego destroy our experience, etc...but there is a LOT to be said about the rules that are in place.
I feel as if we don't need to ditch one for the other. There can be harmony. That doesn't mean that we should strive exclusively for cosmic consciousness, though. Caveman consciousness isn't replaced. Because it's wired into us, we can't decide to just turn it off. As long as it is active, there will be a need to understand women and men and how and why our emotions are working.
Now, this is also from the mind. It is up to your higher self to accept or deny this information, but it's further proof that it isn't YOU doing it, it's your mind and body. Surviving the best way they know how.
This is the human experience. Be aware of the rules and create situations where you thrive within their boundaries. Make life happy and eventful. Do you want your ex back? For now, it seems like that would have the most value since it would not only give you a compatible mate, but it would also nullify a lot of the regret. What a great prospect! Losing her and getting her back would net you more satisfaction than just having her ever did. Though you did go through a lot of misery, so it probably will balance out.
Or do you want another woman? Someone more attractive, someone more compatible? For me, when I start getting a taste of other women that I am REALLY into, I think it will change. My mind and body will focus less on getting her back and more on netting the next big catch.
As a human, my first duty is to survive. The skills needed were passed down to me from other survivors. My ability to fight, defend myself and others I care about, to assess situations and to choose who I spend time with all help.
The second duty, after survival, is to replicate. Make stronger, better, smarter offspring by mating with another person as strong, or stronger, than me.
These are facts. They can not be argued or debated. We, as humans, are hard-wired to operate this way. We may cover these instincts up with new labels, rules and expectations, but really nothing changes.
That drive to love and be loved, that isn't you. That isn't your choice. That attraction you have for someone, that isn't you. That isn't your choice. It's your wiring. You may have a lot of control over certain aspects in your life, but this isn't one.
When you aren't in a relationship and you want to be, it hurts. That isn't you. That isn't your choice. In the same way that you are thirsty when you don't have water and hungry when you don't have food, your body sends you negative signals which are meant to tell you that you are failing at securing a mate and are therefor failing to pass on your genes. We call that "heartache" or "loneliness".
When a man pursues a woman and that woman accepts, there is a deep, deep satisfaction that is present. What is happening is that this aspect of the man is satiated. The body sends positive signals to the man which tells him that he is doing this right, keep it up. We call this "being in love".
A man then invests in the woman. He spends time, money and effort to continue the relationship and to solidify it. She is his mate. Like his water, food and rest, she is an essential part of him. And his mate is the only one that can stop the need that consumes him consistently. She is invaluable.
There are predators, though, who want a mate as well. This isn't their choice. It's the way things are. When they come prowling around your investment, you NEED to defend it. Your chance at pro-creating is in jeopardy and your body knows this. It sends you signals to be upset, violent and defensive. These signals are here because the men that survived before us had them and used them. They work. Using their strength, they were able to ward off predators and protect their investment in the same way that an animal protects its food from other animals.
When the woman leaves for another predator, there is a massive issue. You can no longer defend the woman because she doesn't want to be defended. She wants to be free of you. Someone else got her attention. You failed at keeping her as yours. Even though there are many other factors besides this that can cause a break up, your body doesn't care; it's interpreted the same today as it was thousands of years ago. Your body sees this and sends massive waves of pain to tell you that you should NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN. EVER!! YOU ARE FAILING AT PASSING ON YOUR GENES BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO SECURE YOUR INVESTMENT FROM PREDATORS!! That is emotion. Its signals are DESIGNED to be miserable. They are designed to teach you a lesson. This heartache doesn't go away until you feed the need for a mate. In a lot of instances, this is why so much pain disappears when a new mate is introduced into your life.
Understand the simplicity of your pain. There is an issue: and there is a symptom, or signal, that is activated to alert you. You need water: thirst. You need food: hunger. You need rest: fatigue. You need a mate: heartache.
What about the people in the past that have violated this process? Be angry. Be upset. These are the factors that kept the species growing. The need to make an example out of them isn't just some blind rage, it's a genuine defense mechanism; it's a message that you send to everyone else who might try the same thing.
What about the need for monogamy? Because you have been designed to protect your investment, a rule has been set: do not let anyone else touch your woman. This spills over into the idea of monogamy. Monogamy feels right because it is in harmony with the basic, fundamental rule of protecting your investment. For me, any other logic fails to have an effect on this decision. The wiring is there.
We live in a time where we are constantly walking the balance between caveman consciousness and cosmic consciousness. In this way, we no longer look at just the human needs, but the spiritual ideas such as the ability to grow from experiences, that we are here to learn something, that everyone is connected, that we can't let ego destroy our experience, etc...but there is a LOT to be said about the rules that are in place.
I feel as if we don't need to ditch one for the other. There can be harmony. That doesn't mean that we should strive exclusively for cosmic consciousness, though. Caveman consciousness isn't replaced. Because it's wired into us, we can't decide to just turn it off. As long as it is active, there will be a need to understand women and men and how and why our emotions are working.
Now, this is also from the mind. It is up to your higher self to accept or deny this information, but it's further proof that it isn't YOU doing it, it's your mind and body. Surviving the best way they know how.
This is the human experience. Be aware of the rules and create situations where you thrive within their boundaries. Make life happy and eventful. Do you want your ex back? For now, it seems like that would have the most value since it would not only give you a compatible mate, but it would also nullify a lot of the regret. What a great prospect! Losing her and getting her back would net you more satisfaction than just having her ever did. Though you did go through a lot of misery, so it probably will balance out.
Or do you want another woman? Someone more attractive, someone more compatible? For me, when I start getting a taste of other women that I am REALLY into, I think it will change. My mind and body will focus less on getting her back and more on netting the next big catch.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The friend zone
So I have been hearing a lot about this friend zone...it's the place you don't want to end up with a girl that you are into. It seems like such an easy trap to fall into. When you are the nice guy, the one she can come to and talk to, the one who will listen, the one who will go out with her and do stuff, it seems like you are giving her enough of you that she has no need to enter into a serious relationship with you. She gets the benefit of YOU without having to give much of anything.
Now that's not to say that you don't get anything out of being a friend of a girl you like, but what you get is much different than what you want.
It seems like this kind of relationship sends a few different signals that lead to fail. First off, you seem to be telling her that you are happy. That you are enjoying your time with her. While that's true, that isn't the end result of your efforts, it's the side effect. You want to show her how awesome you are and how well you compliment her. All she can see, though, is that you are benefiting her, she likes it and that seems to be your intention since you appear to be at peace with it.
Second, this kind of relationship sends the signal that you enjoy the role you are playing and that makes it easier for her to PUT you in that role in HER mind.
Third, it shows that you are willing to give an insane amount of yourself to her in exchange for little. This tells her that she is valuable, awesome, exceptional, special, etc. It tells her that she is so valuable, awesome, exceptional, special, etc., that she doesn't NEED to do ANYTHING in order to keep the benefits coming. On her end, she can reap all of these benefits without having to do any work.
Ultimately, what it comes down to is that a woman will get SO MUCH good stuff from a guy who is trying to get her attention and show how good he fits, while doing nothing to earn it besides being awesome, that she will have NO INCENTIVE to give back. That hurts. A lot. And before you know it, you are a friend and since she has labeled you as such, the killer line is played:
"I don't want to risk losing you as a friend"
She values the friendship. You value the potential relationship. They are different.
How do you prevent going into the friend zone. And once you are there, is there a way out?
Now that's not to say that you don't get anything out of being a friend of a girl you like, but what you get is much different than what you want.
It seems like this kind of relationship sends a few different signals that lead to fail. First off, you seem to be telling her that you are happy. That you are enjoying your time with her. While that's true, that isn't the end result of your efforts, it's the side effect. You want to show her how awesome you are and how well you compliment her. All she can see, though, is that you are benefiting her, she likes it and that seems to be your intention since you appear to be at peace with it.
Second, this kind of relationship sends the signal that you enjoy the role you are playing and that makes it easier for her to PUT you in that role in HER mind.
Third, it shows that you are willing to give an insane amount of yourself to her in exchange for little. This tells her that she is valuable, awesome, exceptional, special, etc. It tells her that she is so valuable, awesome, exceptional, special, etc., that she doesn't NEED to do ANYTHING in order to keep the benefits coming. On her end, she can reap all of these benefits without having to do any work.
Ultimately, what it comes down to is that a woman will get SO MUCH good stuff from a guy who is trying to get her attention and show how good he fits, while doing nothing to earn it besides being awesome, that she will have NO INCENTIVE to give back. That hurts. A lot. And before you know it, you are a friend and since she has labeled you as such, the killer line is played:
"I don't want to risk losing you as a friend"
She values the friendship. You value the potential relationship. They are different.
How do you prevent going into the friend zone. And once you are there, is there a way out?
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